As Honda once stated, “Stupid Hurts”

​

We have no idea if this ever really happened, or if it was merely the creative figment of a writer’s vivid imagination. But either way, it was and is hilariously entertaining. A lesson in what NOT to do, on several levels.

First published years ago by Rebecca Dudley of the News-Tribune, she shared the story of a biker who pushed his motorcycle from his front patio into his living room, where he began to clean the engine with some rags and a small bowl of gasoline. When he finished, he sat on the bike and decided to fire it up, to make sure everything was in running order.

Yes, in the living room.

Unfortunately, the bike started in gear and lurched forward, crashing through the glass patio door with him “whisky throttling” the handlebars. His wife had been working in the kitchen. She came running at the noise, and found him sprawled out on the patio, badly cut up from the shards of broken glass. She called 911 and two paramedics soon arrived to transport the poor sap to the local emergency room.

So far, the story is comical- in a “that’s what you get for being a big enough idiot to bring your motorcycle into your living room” kind of way.

But here is where I really busted a gut.

Later that afternoon, after many stitches had sewn her husband back together, the wife brought him home and put him to bed. She cleaned up the mess in the living room and dumped the bowl of gasoline, in the toilet. You read that right.

Shortly thereafter, her husband woke up, lit himself a “lung dart”, and shuffled into the bathroom. As he sat down he flicked the cigarette butt between his legs into the toilet bowl, which promptly exploded because his wife had not flushed the gasoline away. The explosion blew the man through the bathroom door.

The wife heard the explosion and her husband’s screams. She ran into the hall and found him crumpled on the floor, his trousers blown away and his buttocks (as well as other “elements”) covered in flash burns. The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance.

As luck would have it, the same two paramedics were still on duty, and dispatched to the scene. They loaded the husband on the stretcher again and began carrying him to the street.

One of them asked the wife how these injuries had occurred. When she told them, they both began laughing so hard that one of the paras dropped his end of the stretcher, which cracked the poor guy’s collarbone.

As Forrest Gump once opined, “Stupid is as stupid does.”

Have a great day!

Rob